Online dating has become incredibly popular. According to a study from Pew Research Center in 2023, three in 10 U.S. adults have used dating sites or apps. That number, when focused solely on those under the age of 30, grows to 53%. Although nearly 70% of individuals on these sites find exclusive romantic relations, digital romance comes with a dark side: dating site scams.
These malicious schemes prey on people who are seeking connection, resulting in devastating emotional and financial consequences. According to Statista, roughly half of all users, regardless of gender, have experienced online dating scams, with victims losing $1.14 billion across the U.S. in 2023 alone — approximately $2,000 per person. Understanding the dynamics of dating site scams is the first step in protecting yourself from potential predators who lurk behind seemingly innocent profiles.
Common Types of Online Dating Scams
The world of online dating fraud is complex and, unfortunately, constantly changing. It can be a challenge to always be on the alert. As scammers continuously develop new methods to exploit vulnerable individuals in so-called “romance scams,” it’s crucial to know how to spot them.
Below, we’ll describe the typical scams you may encounter on dating sites.
Catfishing (Fake Profiles)
Catfishing involves creating entirely fictional personas with fake profile pictures on dating apps or social media specifically designed to lure in unsuspecting victims. Scammers will create elaborate backstories, post stolen or AI-generated photographs, and engage in flirtatious conversations to flatter their victims and build trust. These fake profiles often try to create the perfect person and, of course, end up being too good to be true. In the U.S. alone, roughly 20,000 people experience catfishing annually across apps and online dating sites.
While catfishing can limit itself to harmless flirting and indulgent fantasy, it can also be a preamble to something darker. Catfishing is usually the first step in more insidious scams, like romantic extortion, money scams, and military scams, which we’ll discuss below.
Romantic Extortion (Sextortion)
Romantic extortion is particularly heinous among dating scams. The fraudsters manipulate their victims into sharing intimate photos or videos, then threaten to distribute these materials publicly unless they pay a ransom. Disturbingly, this scam is often directed at teenage boys between the ages of 14 and 17, with over 13,000 cases reported to the FBI from October 2021 to March 2023. These criminals exploit emotional vulnerability, naivety, and fear of public humiliation to extort money and continue their psychological manipulation.
Money Scams
Financial fraud represents the most direct monetary threat in online dating. Scammers will often create intricate stories about financial emergencies, medical expenses, travel costs, or business opportunities. As they gradually build trust, they’ll begin requesting funds. The bad actors bank on the sympathy of their victims and the “genuine connections” they’ve built to separate their victims from their money. They may request wire transfers, gift cards, or sensitive information like your social security or bank account numbers.
Military or International Scams
Military scams involve criminals posing as military personnel or individuals working internationally. They create compelling backstories about overseas service or complex work situations that conveniently prevent in-person meetings while asking for financial support or emotional investment.
Warning Signs: How to Spot an Online Dating Scam
Recognizing potential red flags in dating profiles and new online relationships can protect you from falling victim to these manipulative strategies. Watch for these critical warning signs:
- Too Good to Be True: Scammers try to create your perfect person. These profiles may seem too perfect, with professional-quality photos and a luxurious lifestyle.
- Moving Too Fast: While dating websites encourage relationships, most genuine users won’t go all in on the relationship right away. If someone professes intense romantic feelings extremely quickly, it may be a scam.
- Excuses to Avoid Meeting in Person: Remember, if there’s a will, there’s a way. If the person you’re talking to online consistently makes excuses to avoid video calls or in-person meetings, at best, they’re not as interested as they lead on. At worst, they’re a dating scammer looking for their next target.
- Requests for Money: It can be a hard thing to balance generosity and discretion, especially when it involves a love interest. However, requests for money or financial assistance, especially from someone you’ve never met in person, should be a serious cause for alarm.
- Inconsistent Stories or Backgrounds: Lived experiences shouldn’t be hard to remember. So stories containing inconsistent or vague personal details should give you pause. Either the person you’re talking to is too distracted, emotionally closed off, or they’re up to something. Either way, it’s time to say goodbye.
- Pressure to Leave the Dating Service: Dating platforms, while not perfect, do provide some security for their uses. Conversations are usually logged, screenshots are typically prohibited, and they normally have ways to report abuse. If someone you’ve connected with pressures you to move communication away from the dating platform and toward text messages or WhatsApp, it should be a sign that the dating app is too restrictive for their true intentions.
Common Scamming Phrases to Be Aware Of
Scammers often use specific language designed to manipulate emotions and create urgency. Be cautious of phrases like:
- “I’m working overseas and can’t meet up right now.”
- “I’ve fallen in love with you, even though we haven’t met in person yet.”
- “I need money to come visit you or to solve a financial emergency.”
Steps to Protect Yourself From Online Dating Scams
Protecting yourself against romance scammers on online dating apps and websites requires proactive strategies and careful behavior. Following these steps can help you significantly reduce your vulnerability.
1. Use Trusted Dating Platforms
Choose popular dating apps and reputable dating sites with strong verification processes and safety features. Platforms with identity authentication and reporting mechanisms offer better protection against fraudulent activities, phishing attempts, and romance scams.
2. Verify Their Identity
Conduct your own research into your matches by using reverse image searches, social media search functions, and app-supported background checks. Look for a consistent online presence and verify details shared during conversations.
3. Keep Conversations on the App Early On
Make sure you keep your initial communications within the dating platform’s messaging system, especially at the beginning. Dating apps often provide built-in protections and will document your interactions in the event that things go awry.
4. Don’t Share Personal Information Quickly
Protect sensitive details like your phone number, home address, financial information, and workplace. Share personal information gradually and only after establishing authentic trust. If someone is genuinely interested in you, they probably won’t mind. The pushy, aggressive people are the ones you need to look out for.
5. Video Chat Before Meeting
Before you agree to meet up in person, have a simple video chat. This is a harmless way to confirm someone’s identity and confirm that the face on the other side of the camera is the same person in their profile pic. Legitimate users should be comfortable with face-to-face digital interactions. Don’t allow for long-standing excuses, like broken cameras or bad reception. When you do meet in person, meet somewhere public.
What to Do if You Suspect You’re Being Scammed
If you have a sneaking suspicion that something is amiss, take immediate protective action. First, immediately cease all communication with the suspected scammer. Do not engage further, respond to messages, or attempt to confront them directly. Scammers are often skilled manipulators who may try to gaslight you or create elaborate excuses to maintain contact. Block their profile, phone number, and any social media connections associated with their identity.
Most importantly, look back and assess how much personal information you may have revealed. If you’ve shared sensitive personal details, financial information, or intimate photographs, take proactive steps to protect yourself. Contact your bank to monitor for suspicious transactions, consider placing a fraud alert on your credit reports, and change your passwords for important accounts, especially if you’ve used similar credentials across platforms.
Then, be sure to document every interaction thoroughly before blocking or deleting conversations. Take screenshots of messages, profile information, and any financial requests or suspicious interactions. This documentation can be crucial evidence if you need to report the scam to authorities or the dating platform.
How to Report an Online Dating Scam
Begin by reporting the scammer directly to the dating platform where you encountered them. Most reputable dating sites have dedicated reporting mechanisms for fraudulent profiles. Provide the platform with detailed information, including screenshots, profile details, and a chronological account of suspicious interactions.
Submit a complaint to the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). This national database, overseen by the FBI, helps authorities identify scamming patterns nationwide and potentially international fraud networks. You can also send a report to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), which maintains databases of consumer fraud and can provide additional resources.
Lastly, file an official report with local law enforcement, especially if you believe the perpetrator is based in your area. Like claims to the IC3 and FBI, this will create a legal record of the incident. Bring the evidence you documented and be prepared to provide a thorough statement about your interactions with the scammer.
Find More Resources to Protect Yourself With StreamSafely
Staying informed is your best defense against online dating fraud. By remaining vigilant, informed, and cautious, you can enjoy the benefits of online dating while minimizing potential risks. Remember, your safety and well-being should always be the priority in any romantic interaction.
StreamSafely is here to help! With a library of resources dedicated to online safety, we provide the tools you need to identify common scams and protect yourself in today’s digital landscape. From recognizing warning signs in online dating to maintaining secure online habits, our goal is to keep you one step ahead of potential fraud. Use StreamSafely as your trusted resource to navigate the world of online interactions with confidence and peace of mind.
